Variations from the Tang Zhong Bread Recipe

I haven't been baking bread since January. I have since then, managed to return the Cuisinart bread machine my husband got for me as Christmas gift, and bought a Zojirushi bread machine from Kitchen Kaboodle (they have the cheapest price for a Zojirushi bread machine, I think). After making less than 10 loafs of bread with the Cuisinart, it made some funny sound one day, when I tried to stop the cycle half way. Also, I didn't like it because with just one paddle, part of the ingredient didn't got mixed in at all!

So, the other day, I had a sudden urge, partly due to the sudden "idea" to add on to the 65 degree Celsius bread by Florence, I decided to bake some bread again. I have only baked with my Zojirushi machine twice after I got it! :P It's been sitting upstairs in the study/guests room for A WHILE! (yup, as much as I like A Zojirushi bread maker, I don't have the space to store it in my kitchen!!!) :P

This time, I made a red bean paste loaf. The original plan was to make 'em into buns, like the BBQ pork steam buns (char siew pau). However, I was afraid the dough is too soft and would flatten like my ham and cheese version, so I tried out with just 3 pieces. The rest of the dough, I rolled 'em up like Swiss rolls and baked in a loft pan. To my surprise, the buns did not collapsed. I wonder WHY?! Was it because it was a very DRY day? Was it because I had forgotten that I should let it rise once more after shaping before brushing the egg wash on?? No idea...but I was happy. The loft turn out great too! I have used the canned red bean paste, hence, it's a bit too sweet for us. Maybe someday, I feel like I have the energy, then I'll try to make my own paste! :P


The next day, I asked Yesmin what other flavor should I try? First thing that came out of her mouth was cheese!!! And my light bulb lit up...I told her, I'll add some bacon and chives!!! Ooohhh...bacon!!! We all love our bacon! :P So, that's what we had the next morning. I was surprise that I didn't cut a slice to taste it after it came out from the oven that night. Yeahhh!!! ;)
By the way, I LOVE my Zojirushi bread maker!! Not only the double blade was awesome, it also have 3 memory settings for personalizing the whole process to your liking! :)

A Sunny Day, A Swing (actually two swings), and A Dress

On one sunny day...

when the ground isn't soggy with the Oregon rain...they went out back to get some Vitamin D & loads of fun!!!

It is one of the many reasons why it is so difficult to move away from this house (although I am constantly running out of storage space), as we have spent so much time and sweat (and $$, of course) into making it a comfortable and fun home.

I don't know if there is ANY kid in this world who would not like to swing on a swing...even till this day, I still find myself, sometimes fighting over with them for the swing (I can't fit into the slide anymore, and I don't have strong arms to do the monkey bars)! :P We are so lucky, and we're THANKFUL for this.

This is THE OTHER story...about a dress...

For few months now, I have noticed that whenever Yesmin or any girl is wearing a dress, Lucas will show extra affection towards her or whoever the girl is. He seems to like girls wearing dresses. He's the type of person that sticks to the "rule" --- pink color is for girls, blue color is for boys, hence, dresses are meant for girls. Both Yesmin and I rarely wear dress/skirt, so, I think it is very special to him, when she does wear them. When he was in school last week, he met a girl wearing a PURPLE dress...and he kept talking about her the WHOLE week!!

The day before these pictures, he had INSISTED on Yesmin wearing this dress! She didn't want to, but promised him she would the following day. He was mad and sad at first. Then we told him that if she had worn a dress, she won't be able to play with him in the back yard , as she might rip the dress while climbing up the ladder on the play structure....so, he accepted the negotiation. The following morning, he told ND(Lee) that the play structure is broken, so Jia jia (big sister) could now wear the dress!!! ;P

Chives, oh Chives!!!

We have a herb/vegetable planted by the sunny side of the house. 3 or 4 years years ago, I planted some herbs, like rosemary, chives, mint, oregano, thyme, and basil. Every year, the mint would spread more and more, every year, the rosemary withstand the winter without a shiver. This past winter we had quite the snow storm, and I think my oregano and thyme are a goner. However, the chive is back, and growing like nobody's business. It has flowered so much, and though it's PURPLE in color, I have to admit they are so pretty.

Every year, since Lucas started to walk and plays out back with Yesmin, they have always love hoping (running) on the stepping stones to the planters, pick out strand and strands of chives and mints (I would only allow them to pick on those two, since they are the 2 of the most durable and easy to pick herbs). Lucas would sometimes just chew on the chives, just like that...like how some people chew on tobacco! ;P On this day, I found them picking out a bunch of the flowered chives, some mint, and some arborvitae foliage. Yesmin wanted to turn it into a bunch of flowers, like a bouquet, while Lucas was trying to make his vision of a flower --- a stemmed flower with two leaves on the stem! :D How cute it is that!? I think the chive has "kids tolerance" characteristic! :)

Thank You

It's been a month since my neighbor, John, passed on. And I just want to take this opportunity to thank those of you, whether you left me a comment, called me, or just dropped by and read about how wonderful he was, and how much he meant to our family on my previous post. A BIG THANK YOU to all of you. It meant a lot to me, to know that we all still TAKE time out to CARE for others.

John's funeral service was on May 7, a week after he took his last breath. It is still difficult to believe that he is gone, that we will no longer be able to see him. It's not something that is easy to do...I can't imagine what and how Retha must be going through. Even for me, the fact that when I look out the window now, he's not there in his garage fixing his dental equipments; or when his son or daughter-in-law, unlocks his car with the keyless entry remote, the sound that goes "churp-churp" reminds me of John...cos' that's what I have been hearing all the years, and knowing it was John!

We're all moving on with our daily lives. Retha has gone back to her routine, though I know it won't be the same for her...there will be some "new" routine for her from now on...but she's trying her best. She's going back to her aerobic class and oil painting class, so that's good. I have also gone back to my routine, and getting busier than ever with our big trip back to Malaysia closing on. We all know that John would want us to move on and be happy...like he had told me the day the kids and I visited him at his home --- that he is in PEACE with what was coming, and don't be sad.

So, once again, THANKS to all of you who cared. Your kind words and thoughts are greatly appreciated.

Daring Bakers' Challenge - Apple Strudel

S'more with a sprinkle of Pistachio

It's the time of the month we all have been waiting for!! Ta-ta-da.... This month's challenge is APPLE STRUDEL --- no to be confuse by streusel (sounds kinda alike)

The May Daring Bakers’ challenge was hosted by Linda of make life sweeter! and Courtney of Coco Cooks. They chose Apple Strudel from the recipe book Kaffeehaus: Exquisite Desserts from the Classic Cafés of Vienna, Budapest and Prague by Rick Rodgers.

I have to say that because of what I was going through the day before the challenge was announced, I almost forgot about checking in! When I finally did remembered later in the day of the announcement, I was glad that I had something to distract me. I have never had a apple strudel so, I didnt' know what to expect. However, after reading the post in the private forum for the members of the Darling Bakers, I felt intimidated once again. This is definitely NOT something I would try on my own will!! I mean, are u kidding me? This is something where you have to STRETCH the dough out AS THIN AS YOU CAN, TO READ A LOVE LETTER (or newspaper or whatever you want to read) THROUGH IT??? I may look "petite", I may have small hands, but being "gentle" IS one of my weakness!!!! I was so sure I am gonna TEAR the damn dough, even though we've been advised by Linda and Courtney that "a few small holes in the dough is not a problem, as the dough will be rolled" HA-HA!!!

So, I put off thinking about the dough...I'll deal with it later. Let's think of the fillings!!! Hmmm....the possibilities you can have to stuff in to the strudel dough, will stuff you crazy. I was thinking about what I wanna stuff in it all day...while driving (not a very good idea...any distraction while driving isn't good, I admit, but don't worry, I didn't get myself into any trouble), while cooking, walking down the bus stop...I couldn't stop thinking even when I went to bed. Had a bad headache after that! :P So, you'd think that, since I KNOW what the challenge was for the month, that I would start my challenge EARLY. NOPE...I did not...well, I did have really good excuses. Although it was exciting to imagine all the possibilities, I wasn't quite in the mood to do anything...I needed time to grief....then I needed time for my other commitments...then so on and so forth! In conclusion, I did not do my challenge until 2 days ago!!! THAT'S so typical of ME!

The dough

The dough is R-E-S-T-I-N-G...do not disturb! ;) I wished I could do the same! :P

Anyway, enough said. So, two days ago, when I started with the dough, I was nervous! The recipe is simple, and really easy, no problem. But when it came to the stretching...that made my hands shake. I did my best, carefully, and slowly stretching the dough from a rather small ball of dough into this giant stretch of super thin dough, with only minimal holes!!! Yiipppeeee!!! =D The feel of the dough is really soft and stretchy. It was SO easy to stretch the dough, and I REALLY mean it, IT WAS EASY --- it just LOOKS difficult, that's all!! ;) On the other hand, maybe I SHOULD say "oh boy, it was SO difficult to stretch this dough" --- so that I can "impress" friends and family!! (ha-ha) ;)

Roll it, roll it, roll it...

Stretch it...

Stretch it...

Stretch it...

And stretch it... no love letter here, and no love notes...just my favorite pastry mat! ;)

So, for my 1st trial, I had a mascarpone cream cheese with cherries and a thin layer of almond paste and a sprinkle orange zest as filling. We were puting the monkeys in bed while it was baking in the oven. When I came down to peek into the oven....YIKKKEESS!!! The mascarpone had LEAKED out!!! *sigh* I don't know if mascarpone cheese was too soft for a sturdel or I didn't add enough egg and/or other stuff to thicken it, like in a cheesecake. I had used one pound of mascarpone and 1 large egg in the fillings. The leak of the mascarpone was good for my friend, Diana, as I have forgotten that she DOES NOT like cream cheese --- and I had made her come over to try it! ;P Anyhow, it still tasted YUMMY. ;)

The next strudel I made was inspired by a combination of a snack and a flat bread sold in street stalls back home in Malaysia --- roti tissue and Apam Balik (also known as Ban Jian Kuih). I figured that if this strudel can be stretched to THIS thin, it'd be like Roti tissue, and the fact that I LOVE Apam Balik, why not combine these two together?! I tried it over the stove instead of baking it. NOPE, it didn't turn out as well as I had imagine. I also did not put enough sugar in it. Thank God, I made only ONE piece to try out. BUT I do think that you can use the filling from Apam Balik, which is toasted chopped peanuts, sugar, a bit a salt, sweet creamy corn, and toasted coconut flakes (optional --- which I opt out), and roll it up. Maybe next time I'll try again ;)

Nd (Lee) suggested folding it like an envelope

The following strudel is also inspired by another snack sold in the street stalls back home --- Curry Puffs (I wonder what is the difference between a curry puff and a samosa besides their shape?! :P) I've been craving for curry puff for a while now, but the samosas that are sold in the stores here are expensive! So, why not wrap it up in the strudel dough?! ;) I used my mom's curry paste and cooked curry chicken for dinner. I made a lot more than I needed for the night and scooped out a big bowl with as little gravy as I could for this. We had it for breakfast this morning. I tell ya, when you miss home, and especially if you've been craving for your hometown food, you'd know how I feel when I took my first bite this morning! Ahhhhh.....




And last but not least, this morning, after dropping Lucas in school, I came home making another version of the strudel. This time, it's S'mores! Mmm...mmmm...do I need to say more??? The kids even got to make their own when they go back home from school! They had so much fun stretching the dough. When it comes to eating it, it was a MESS but it was really priceless seeing how happy they were...especially since they made them. =D

S'more-del (?!)

So, this is where you can get the full recipe. I will include below the recipe for the dough and the notes/tips from Linda and Courtney.

Strudel dough
from “Kaffeehaus – Exquisite Desserts from the Classic Cafés of Vienna, Budapest and Prague” by Rick Rodgers

1 1/3 cups (200 g) unbleached flour
1/8 teaspoon salt
7 tablespoons (105 ml) water, plus more if needed
2 tablespoons (30 ml) vegetable oil, plus additional for coating the dough
1/2 teaspoon cider vinegar

1. Combine the flour and salt in a stand-mixer fitted with the paddle attachment. Mix the water, oil and vinegar in a measuring cup. Add the water/oil mixture to the flour with the mixer on low speed. You will get a soft dough. Make sure it is not too dry, add a little more water if necessary.

Take the dough out of the mixer. Change to the dough hook. Put the dough ball back in the
mixer. Let the dough knead on medium until you get a soft dough ball with a somewhat rough surface.

2. Take the dough out of the mixer and continue kneading by hand on an unfloured work surface. Knead for about 2 minutes. Pick up the dough and throw it down hard onto your working surface occasionally.
Shape the dough into a ball and transfer it to a plate. Oil the top of the dough ball lightly. Cover the ball tightly with plastic wrap. Allow to stand for 30-90 minutes (longer is better).

3. It would be best if you have a work area that you can walk around on all sides like a 36 inch (90 cm) round table or a work surface of 23 x 38 inches (60 x 100 cm). Cover your working area with table cloth, dust it with flour and rub it into the fabric. Put your dough ball in the middle and roll it out as much as you can.

Pick the dough up by holding it by an edge. This way the weight of the dough and gravity can help stretching it as it hangs. Using the back of your hands to gently stretch and pull the dough. You can use your forearms to support it.

4. The dough will become too large to hold. Put it on your work surface. Leave the thicker edge of the dough to hang over the edge of the table. Place your hands underneath the dough and stretch and pull the dough thinner using the backs of your hands. Stretch and pull the dough until it's about 2 feet (60 cm) wide and 3 feet (90 cm) long, it will be tissue-thin by this time. Cut away the thick dough around the edges with scissors. The dough is now ready to be filled.

Tips
- Ingredients are cheap so we would recommend making a double batch of the dough, that way you can practice the pulling and stretching of the dough with the first batch and if it doesn't come out like it should you can use the second batch to give it another try;

- The tablecloth can be cotton or polyester;

- Before pulling and stretching the dough, remove your jewelry from hands and wrists, and wear short-sleeves;

- To make it easier to pull the dough, you can use your hip to secure the dough against the edge of the table;

- Few small holes in the dough is not a problem as the dough will be rolled, making (most of) the holes invisible.

Both Courtney and I did a trial run on making the strudel. Below are our notes:

Courtney's notes
- She couldn't get it to stretch to 2 feet by 3 feet, it turned out more like 2 feet by 2 feet. But the dough was tissue thin nevertheless;

- She got some serious holes, but after rolling it wasn't noticeable;

- She used a large cheese cloth which helped manipulate and stretch the dough more than a heavier cloth would have.

Linda's notes
- I made the dough by hand, just mixed the wet ingredients into the dry ingredients with a wooden spoon. Kneaded it for about 5 min like you would bread dough. This worked as well. Haven't tried using a stand mixer so I don't know how it compares.

- Instead of cider vinegar I used red wine vinegar;

- I used bread flour;

- Picking up the dough to let it stretch didn't work well for me, holes appeared pretty much instantly. Instead I stretched the dough while it was lying on the tablecloth by putting my hands underneath and stretching it out further and further.

And these are my notes ---

• Don't be afraid to try making the strudel! It is easier than you think, or wanna believe. ;)
  
• If you have one of these Roul' Pat Pastry Mat, it works just as well --- actually worked better for me, because when I first used parchment as suggested by another member, it did not work for me. The parchment moved about, same as the cheese cloth, but I did not try it on a table cloth though. However, you'll have to be careful with the size of your dough, and which way to stretch it on the mat.
• If you don't have a wet filling, it is not necessary to sprinkle breadcrumb, instead, you can use sugar, nuts, seeds, whatever that you desire and goes with your filling.
• You can mix the dough, let it rest, then store it lightly oiled and tightly wrap with cling wrap, and store in the fridge to be used the next day. Just bring it to room temperature before stretching. I initially wanted to try freezing stretched dough, cut into pieces --- sort like the Phyllo dough you get from the freezer aisle, cos' I thought it'd take SO MUCH time to prepare, if I wanted to serve it on the same day. Obviously I was wrong...it's only the resting time that takes a while, which you can use to prepare the filling too.
  
• Any scrap dough cannot be RE-stretch.
• Uneaten strudel can be store in the fridge, wrapped up. I reheat mine in the toaster oven and it is still crispy. However, the bottom part of the mascarpone-cherry strudel was a bit soggy.
  
• Split the dough in half for easier handling. Plus that way you COULD use some metal spatula or cake/brownie serving knife on each end to transfer the baked strudel onto a cooling rack to help maintain the crispy bottom crust--- but of course, use your own judgment on how solid your strudel feels before transferring.
  

Thanks Linda and Courtney for the challenge!!! =)

Starry Glasses

Last month, we were invited to a birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. In the party favor bag was this starry glasses. I was surprised that Lucas wore it the WHOLE day! ;)

Happy 55th Anniversary John & Retha... A Happy and Sad Story...

John and Retha live across the street from us. They are in their 80s and 70s respectively. They are one of the loveliest couple you'll ever meet.

When we decided to stay back in U.S. and start our family, we knew that the kids are going to miss out on growing up with grandparents. Both Nd(Lee) and I, grew up living part of our childhood lives with our grandpa and grandmas, so even thought we know how precious those times were, it was something that we had to sacrifice. So, when we moved to our current house almost 7 years ago, we felt like a blessing for us to have them just across the street.

Our kids call them "grandpa John & grandma Retha" simply because we didn't want them to be referring them by their first names, and calling them Mr. and Mrs. would be way too formal (this is one of the cultural difference that I often have to explain to others WHY my kids are referring every adult as aunty or uncle even though we aren't related).

When we move here, Yesmin was just about 2 years old. We visited them now and then (not as often as I should have), help each other here and there, like any neighbors do. Retha is always willing to babysit for me, even though some times it's last minute. They'd bring gifts for the kids on their birthdays and Christmas. And when their grand kid, who's Yesmin's age visited, he'd come over and play too.

As for John, like ALL grandpas, he'd be the one that spoils the kids (not that Retha doesn't, but I guess as a mom herself, she knows 'more' on what to and not to). Every time Yesmin and I went over, John is ready with a lollipop! I often wonder how MANY lollipops does he have? Cos' their grand kids are in Texas and California. And I was also cuirous if HE eats that much lollipop to have 'em around every time we're there?! I mean, he was in his late 70s back then, as healthy as he could be (mowing their steep lawn, reparing dental equipments in his garage, shavoring snow in winter), but still, sure he's gotta becareful with all the sugar if he's eating them. Finally, one day he 'confessed' to me that, every time he went to the bank or post office, if they have a basket of candies on the counter, he'd take one home and save it for when Yesmin visited. It didn't stop with Yesmin of course. When Lucas came long, he didn't have so many lollipops, but still, I remembered once when they babysitted Lucas, that boy gotta enjoy ice-cream & a cookie with John! ;) *still shaking my head, smiling each time I think of it* --- see how blessed we are?!
Oh, by the way, they have a photo of the 2 of them taken in a studio some years back where, the 1st time I saw it, I really thought John look like Richard Gere, just an older Richard Gere. =)

About 2 years ago, one day, I realized that John has suddenly aged. Still, he was out and about doing his things, except for mowing the lawn. He pays our other neighbor's teenage son do it, which I was really glad...cos' the slope on their front lawn IS steep! Anyway, other the usual cold, arthritis (cos' of old age), he was fine...it was usually Retha, who has asthma that needed more medical attention.

A card with an angle flying to John and Retha's house - Yesmin made for John after our Monday visit with him.

Sometime around mid- late March, John was diagnose with Pneumonia, and was admitted to the hospital for a couple of days. I didn't even know until after he came back. We all assumed he'd be fine then. Then came early April, he was admitted again for Pneumonia, but came back with a shocking news. The doctors have misdiagnose his symptoms. He is such a fighter that he doesn't complain about his pain! The truth is John has lung cancer! He doesn't even smoke, nor his family history that he knows of, has any form of cancer. That week, happened so to be spring break for schools in California. All of their kids (the 2 youngest, and the oldest one from Bend) and sons and daughters-in-law and grand kids were back here to visit them, thank God! The doctors didn't know how long the cancer has been there, but they now know that it wasn't just arthritis that has been keeping him awake at night, or doing some other activities, but the cancer has been the culprit - it has moved into his spine and bones. The Wednesday after the kids' visited (their oldest son and his family now lives with them, they moved from Texas right before his 1st trip to the hospital for the Pneumonia), they had an appointment with the Oncologist. They were told that John would have 3-6 months time... It was hard to accept that kinda news, but still, at least they'd still have SOME time left to be together AND to handle things, both physically and psychologically - not emotionally, cos' I don't think anyone can ever prepare for that.

The kids and I went to see him the Monday afterward. He laid on the couch, tired, but was still talking to us...telling me how well I have raise them, telling them how well behave they are, and how hard working Nd (Lee) is. He said he was happy that we had come to pay him respect!! He spoke like it was the last time he'd be talking to me, and that BREAKS MY HEART!!!

On Wednesday, the hospice service sent a portable potty and a walker for him. I went over to see if Retha needed a hand (both their son and their daughter-in-law works, so they're by themselves). John was in bed. And as a gentleman that he is, he wanted to STAND UP to greet me! I had to stopped him. He spoke a little...he was so tired, and he had barely eaten since Sunday, just water, and Ensure!

The next day, I got a call from Retha, not wanting to give me a shocked or wonder what was going on, told me that later that afternoon, there'll be an ambulance here to pick John up, and they'll be bring him to a facility to get the medical care that he needs. She also told me that things didn't look good, as he has been sleeping a lot, and not eating, barely drinking. She had also asked the hospice nurse, based on her experience, how long more John has...and she said a few weeks, no more than a month. I started sobbing... I called my other 2 neighbors who are also close to them, and inform them of the situation. Called Nd(Lee) at work to come home early, so that he could go visit John before it's too late, as he (Nd/Lee) had planned on visiting him on the weekend. Later, our neighbor Diane who's a nurse, went over to check on him, only to find out that the hospice nurse had told Retha to give him a very strong pain medication, that he hasn't taken YET (he has been taking 2 others), the full doze (it was anywhere from 1-4 pills) as Retha had called them because John had been very anxious and agitated the whole morning. So, Diane, figured (based on his color, his breathing, and his heart rate) that it could be the medication that has knocked him out. We all crossed our fingers and toes, and prayed that, that was just it. He was still asleep when Nd (Lee) got home, and we went over with Yesmin to visit him (Diane has graciously volunteer to babysit Lucas as it might not be the right time for him, and I am so thankful for that). John barely woke up.

Next day, Lucas and I dropped by late morning to see him again. He was SO MUCH better. Retha told me that he was awake earlier in the morning, drank more water and Ensure. So that was GOOD! That's a good sign! Also, their other 3 kids (they have 4 kids) who live out of town, would be here on Sunday. Saturday, we stopped by again, with both kids and Nd(Lee). John, though was tired... still knew us, remembered all of us, but could barely talk...it was mainly mumbles. All these happened just LAST WEEK!

We all have been telling him to hang on, and hang in there, as today, April 30th is his and Retha's 55th Wedding Anniversary! And the night before he was admitted to the medical care center, he had told Retha his last good-by...Retha asked him, if it was time? He told her no, not yet...

You see, about 4 years ago, I saw these pair of fondant love birds on the book cover of "Fun & Fancy Cake Decorating" by Kate Sullivan. And the first couple that came to my mind was John and Retha. I SO wanted to make them one for their anniversary, to surprise them...but for 4 years, I DID NOTHING! NOTHING! WHAT THE F#$@ WAS I WAITING FOR???

2 nights ago, I had started baking the chocolate cake...John likes chocolate...once I had made truffles and send some over, Retha told me she has to keep an eye on HIM & the truffles! Though I knew he would not be able to eat, I was hoping, wishing, and praying that he would wait, wait till after their anniversary and that he could at least take a small crumb of it. I finish decorating the cake late last night, going to bed, hoping that I won't be too late.

This morning, after I dropped Lucas off at school, I went to Party Depot to pick up some plates and utensils for them to celebrate their anniversary there in the center. I came home, took the photos of the cake, and head back out to John's. As I walk to his room, I was optimistic and at the same time, also had a weird feeling in my stomach. His room door was closed. I knocked. Retha opened the door, I mumbled Happy Anniversary, only to realized that the hospice nurse was there talking to them, I felt like I was invading their privacy, but it should be fine...at the same time, I got a split second look at John and everyone else in the room...he's got oxygen tube hooked on his nose, everyone (all 4 kids) eyes were red and watery....I crumbled...I walked to the side, and quietly ask their oldest daughter, Denise, what's going on? She told me, this is probably "the day"....

No, no way, this can't be true! I was sure they got it wrong. After all, his condition had been going up and down, sure he'd turn around later, if not tomorrow! --- They figured that their dad, had been really HANG-ON to his dear life until TODAY, THEIR 55TH ANNIVERSARY, like he had silently promised his wife. The people from the center came in with flowers and card for their anniversary, and Retha was relating all these to him, describing all the details of the flowers, card and the cake I made. I felt like SHIT! And she was still SO STRONG, holding on to all the emotions. His youngest son wanted to go out and get champagne to celebrate their parents anniversary, cos' his older brother had to leave soon to go back for a meeting or something, and I had to go pick Lucas from preschool. I told him not to and that, he should stay put, and Rod, the older one suggested that he'd pick it up after the meeting, on the way back. We sat around chatting, Denise walked out to answer a call. I got there at 10:25am...at about 10:45am, John's breath started to get very short and slow, LONG INTERVALS...all I heard was someone said "Oh no, this is it"....I still can't believe...I didn't know what to do, Retha wanted to go call the nurse, I told her I'd do that, and got Denise.

In my heart, I feel like maybe John has lost track of time and date, but soon after Retha told him about how we all brought things over to celebrate their anniversary, and that his son will bring in the champagne, he then knows that he has kept his promise, and he has done all that he could - to hang on for ONE MORE YEAR with his wife. On this beautiful sunny Spring morning, at 10:55am, John passed away peacefully, with his wife of 55 loving years - Retha, and his kids - Denise, Rod, Glenna, and John Jr. by his side.


HAPPY 55th ANNIVERSARY TO YOU- JOHN AND RETHA. OUR DEEPEST, DEEPEST SYMPATHY TO YOUR FAMILY. YOU WILL BE MISSED DEARLY, JOHN. IT'S BEEN OUR HONOR TO KNOW YOU AND BE A PART OF YOUR LIFE. THANK YOU FOR ALL THE YEARS YOU HAVE SPOILED OUR KIDS, TAKEN CARE OF US, TREATED US LIKE WE'RE PART OF YOUR FAMILY. THANK YOU FROM THE BOTTOM OF OUR HEARTS. WE LOVE YOU!

Jenny, Lee, Yesmin and Lucas